Uninspired but still really f-ed up
Since I have nothing to write about, I'm stealing this idea from Isabel. I'm a freak so it wasn't hard to compile a list of . . .
6 Weird Things About Sue Ellen Mischke
1. When someone is talking to me, I lift my toes for every word they say or tap my fingers for every word they say. With songs, I do this so obsessively that I can tell you what position my toes or fingers will end in after one of my favorite songs. If I mess up, I'll start the song over and and do it again. If I'm driving, I do the same thing with road signs. The goal is to end up with both toes down or all of my fingers down. God, that's weird.
2. I talk to myself out loud all the time, but most often in the car. It's typically a made up conversation with someone that isn't there, and I'm usually telling them something about this imaginary fabulous life I've made up for myself. Usually I'm being interviewed by someone about how I fell ass-backwards into fame, stardom or riches. I also practice being interviewed for jobs. This is why I'm such an awesome interview. They can't ask me a question that I haven't already asked of myself and answered.
3. While I secretly love being interviewed, I also love interviewing people I meet. I'd try to make a mute person talk if left alone with him for long enough. Sometimes I regret that I've initiated an interview with my subject. It's not going to be a surprise to any of you to find out that not everyone I meet is worthy of being interviewed. But I take my chances anyway and launch into a Barbara Walters style one-on-one every chance I get.
4. I fidget constantly. I usually curl my toes (that is, if they aren't being used to keep track of the words to a song) or put my hair up in a ponytail and then take it out again.
5. I pee a lot- easily 15 times/day if I'm near a restroom the whole day. I don't necessarily have to go 15 times/day, it's just that I'm afraid that suddenly I won't be allowed to use the restroom and then I'll be wishing I peed before "they" took away my bathroom privileges. To make matters worse, I keep the door open most of the time (but not in public of course), and I don't flush every time (I mean, when you pee 15 times/day, it's nothing but water anyway). This probably irritates my roommate; I know it irritates my boyfriend. I also use roughly a catcher's mitt-worth of toilet paper each time.
6. I chew pink Orbit bubble-mint gum constantly. I never even chewed gum until I discovered pink Orbit. Now I'll risk being late for an event or work or an engagement to stop at the store and buy a fresh pack. I have a Costco membership for the sole purpose of buying pink Orbit in bulk. It's the perfect gum. Sometimes I chew it so much that my jaw hurts from chewing all day long.
6 Weird Things About Sue Ellen Mischke
1. When someone is talking to me, I lift my toes for every word they say or tap my fingers for every word they say. With songs, I do this so obsessively that I can tell you what position my toes or fingers will end in after one of my favorite songs. If I mess up, I'll start the song over and and do it again. If I'm driving, I do the same thing with road signs. The goal is to end up with both toes down or all of my fingers down. God, that's weird.
2. I talk to myself out loud all the time, but most often in the car. It's typically a made up conversation with someone that isn't there, and I'm usually telling them something about this imaginary fabulous life I've made up for myself. Usually I'm being interviewed by someone about how I fell ass-backwards into fame, stardom or riches. I also practice being interviewed for jobs. This is why I'm such an awesome interview. They can't ask me a question that I haven't already asked of myself and answered.
3. While I secretly love being interviewed, I also love interviewing people I meet. I'd try to make a mute person talk if left alone with him for long enough. Sometimes I regret that I've initiated an interview with my subject. It's not going to be a surprise to any of you to find out that not everyone I meet is worthy of being interviewed. But I take my chances anyway and launch into a Barbara Walters style one-on-one every chance I get.
4. I fidget constantly. I usually curl my toes (that is, if they aren't being used to keep track of the words to a song) or put my hair up in a ponytail and then take it out again.
5. I pee a lot- easily 15 times/day if I'm near a restroom the whole day. I don't necessarily have to go 15 times/day, it's just that I'm afraid that suddenly I won't be allowed to use the restroom and then I'll be wishing I peed before "they" took away my bathroom privileges. To make matters worse, I keep the door open most of the time (but not in public of course), and I don't flush every time (I mean, when you pee 15 times/day, it's nothing but water anyway). This probably irritates my roommate; I know it irritates my boyfriend. I also use roughly a catcher's mitt-worth of toilet paper each time.
6. I chew pink Orbit bubble-mint gum constantly. I never even chewed gum until I discovered pink Orbit. Now I'll risk being late for an event or work or an engagement to stop at the store and buy a fresh pack. I have a Costco membership for the sole purpose of buying pink Orbit in bulk. It's the perfect gum. Sometimes I chew it so much that my jaw hurts from chewing all day long.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 1:14 PM
7 Comments:
My long lost sister - 'cept for the peeing bit....
#2 is soooo me! I thought I was the only one. Now I'm all excited and using multiple!! exclamation points!! I feel so much less weird now.
I have a really solid career in the car music industry. If it's a female vocal, I am lead singer and I belt it out accordingly. And if it's not, I am busily doing half-smiles nd other attractive-in-my-mind facial expressions in the video in which I'm starring.
I used to be able to do these things with the kids in the car, but recently the oldest watches me intently when I do, and I just know he's planning a tell-all novel or something awful, so now I only do these things with the youngest or alone.
A thoroughly entertaining post. I say you're worthy of being interviewed for one of those segments This American Life ; )
The toe thing...is weird!
And thanks for staeling this from me...because I totally forgot to tag anyone!!
I'm glad so many of you are as fucked up as I am. Except of course Marc, who is my new favorite person for saying that I could be on This American Life. Oh, Ira. When will you discover my American life?
Heather B, I bet there are a lot of people out there that do this same thing. So we don't have to feel weird. And if they don't, we should hope they are interviewing for the same jobs as us because we are so getting that job.
E, I can't sing worth a damn, but I do it anyway. The facial expressions though, I don't do. I think that's because I'm always in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and I probably look weird enough as it is talking to myself. I don't think I need to be making funny faces along with it.
Isabel, I totally know the toe thing is the weirdest thing I do. I think I have a touch of autism (is that possible? is that not okay to think you have a touch of something so serious?), and it manifests itself in that way. I do other weird things that I left off this list. Not that they were too weird to admit, but it said only "6" weird things. I could easily have done 12. Maybe I'll do a 6 more weird things post.
I also talk to myself in the car! I guess it's pretty normal huh.
Nice to find another Chicagoan in the blogosphere. :-)
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