This I believe...
NPR has a series going right now that is an homage to an Edward R. Murrow series called "This I Believe." In it, people of all walks of life submit an essay declaring their belief in one specific concept, thing, person, etc, and, those that are selected read their essay on the air. I've heard everyone from Colin Powell to an annoying woman who said she believed in being nice "to the pizza delivery dude" (and, yes, she called him the pizza delivery "dude" throughout the whole piece). I hear this series almost every single time it airs, which I'm pretty sure is on Mondays during Morning Edition. With each declaration of belief I hear, I wonder to myself what I might write should I decide to write a "This I Believe" essay. Time and again, I'm stumped. I spent a while talking about this with my therapist tonight, and I'm not sure if I should be thrilled that I can't boil my beliefs down to one concise concept or if I should be horrified that I am so uncertain in my beliefs that I can't even come up with one single belief I find essay-worthy. I told my therapist I'd try to come up with a This I Believe essay, or at least some possible options. Here's what I came up with after very little reflection:
1. I believe in the power of premium denim to make any ordinary ass look smashing.
2. I believe I will never see the Cubs win a World Series.
3. I believe the asshole going 40 MPH in the left lane is from Wisconsin.
4. I believe Chicago is superior to NYC.
5. I believe in my grandma's meatballs.
6. I believe people who use religion as a justification for ignorant, oppressive and racist policies should burn in hell.
7. I believe in Murphy's Law.
8. I believe I will always pick the slowest lane, even if I was fairly certain at the time of my choosing that lane that it would be the fastest.
9. I believe in George Costanza.
10. I believe in Pinot Grigio (that one's for you Canadian Uncle).
That's all I got. See? Even my half-assed "This I Believe" potential TOPICS are shit. Even an NPR intern wouldn't select an entire essay on any one of those topics (except maybe #9) as one that might be worthy of air time on Morning Edition. What kind of people can actually boil their beliefs down to one essay? Can you? What would you write about?
1. I believe in the power of premium denim to make any ordinary ass look smashing.
2. I believe I will never see the Cubs win a World Series.
3. I believe the asshole going 40 MPH in the left lane is from Wisconsin.
4. I believe Chicago is superior to NYC.
5. I believe in my grandma's meatballs.
6. I believe people who use religion as a justification for ignorant, oppressive and racist policies should burn in hell.
7. I believe in Murphy's Law.
8. I believe I will always pick the slowest lane, even if I was fairly certain at the time of my choosing that lane that it would be the fastest.
9. I believe in George Costanza.
10. I believe in Pinot Grigio (that one's for you Canadian Uncle).
That's all I got. See? Even my half-assed "This I Believe" potential TOPICS are shit. Even an NPR intern wouldn't select an entire essay on any one of those topics (except maybe #9) as one that might be worthy of air time on Morning Edition. What kind of people can actually boil their beliefs down to one essay? Can you? What would you write about?
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 8:28 PM
9 Comments:
I believe #8 is a subcategory of #7.
Odd. I believe I am George.
I take offense to #3 and "I believe" you meant to refer to the driver as a FIB. You know who I am.
You inspired me. See!
And I think I could write a full essay about any of yours or mine. Not saying they'd air it, but I could damn well write it.
I would so fight you on 4. Of course I've never really spent a signficant amount of time in Chicago.
7 might be the only beleif I have.
10 is kinda a close, but I hate to limit myself to just one wine....or even just one alcohol for that matter...
1) You now are in a hole with my wife... bigtime (a native Madisonian)
2) I think you misrepresent the "This I Believe"... You say "What kind of people can actually boil their beliefs down to one essay?"... but that's not what the show asks. It doesn't ask you to boil down... but to simply take one of those beliefs.
3) I think you could spin (6) into a worthy "This I Believe"... (8) could actually be pretty interesting as well.
4) YOU DON'T GIVE YOURSELF ENOUGH CREDIT ;)
ND, I'm the biggest Chicago snob you'll ever meet, so don't bother trying to fight me on that. I could pretty much put any major city in place on NYC on that statement. I wouldn't leave Chicago for anyone anything at any time in my life. And the thing is, I think a lot of Chicagoans probably feel the same way. There's just no reason to move away. It's all here. You have to spend some time here to understand. When you do, you have to call me because I'm an unofficial city tour guide (it's secretly my dream job), and I'll show you why #4 is true.
I agree about Murphy's Law. It probably is the one thing on that list besides the Chicago one that I believe in most firmly.
E, glad I could inspire you. I'd like to see your essay on any of these.
Anon, yeah I knew you'd like that!
*, you're right. I believe 9 is kind of a subcategory of #7 as well.
Dan, you're George? That's funny because I'm Elaine. Now who wants to be our Jerry and Kramer?
Ok. Maybe I'm more like Bizarro George.
Perhaps my response is a tad too "serious" :)
Post a Comment
<< Home