Oedipus complex
I lost my glasses. Hence, I've been wearing my contacts every waking hour of my life for the past 2 weeks. This is not fun. Normally when I come home from work, the first thing I do is tear my contacts out of my face to relieve myself of the burning sensation I experience after wearing contacts from 5:00 in the morning until 7:00 at night.
But now, I have to keep the contacts in when I watch TV at night. I have to keep them in when I look at my computer screen, read a book or make my dinner. It's a nightmare. You know how Oedipus gouged out his own eyes when he realized he had fulfilled his fate when he married his mother and killed his father? Well, I finally know the pain Oedipus felt, and I am one dry, fatigued and painful blink away from doing the same to myself.
I went to For Eyes today and picked out new glasses, which I cannot find a picture of to post here. While I was there, a woman actually came in and inquired about buying glasses sans prescription lenses. She said, with a straight face, that she just had Lasik surgery and wanted them "just for fashion." This is easily the dumbest thing I've ever heard a woman ask without the slightest hint of self-awareness of the ridiculousness of her inquiry. It's not so much the buying frames for the purposes of fashion that bothers me, although let me be clear that this does in fact bother me, but it pales in comparison to the other problem. It's more the paying thousands of dollars for a surgery that frees you from glasses only to head directly to For Eyes to buy glasses that concerns me. When she left, all the people in the store talked about what an idiot she was. It was gorgeous.
Finally, if only I had the capability to share with you the audio of my eye exam. The opthamalogist was a woman, probably in her mid 30s. You know how they put that scary contraption up to your face and do that "1 or 2? 3 or 4?" to get you to tell them which lens provides the clearest vision for you? Well, this woman was doing it in the highest pitch most annoying voice I've ever heard. I actually started laughing out loud half-way through the exam because I was thinking how much I'd like to record her voice so I could post it on my blog. I don't think she liked me very much.
But now, I have to keep the contacts in when I watch TV at night. I have to keep them in when I look at my computer screen, read a book or make my dinner. It's a nightmare. You know how Oedipus gouged out his own eyes when he realized he had fulfilled his fate when he married his mother and killed his father? Well, I finally know the pain Oedipus felt, and I am one dry, fatigued and painful blink away from doing the same to myself.
I went to For Eyes today and picked out new glasses, which I cannot find a picture of to post here. While I was there, a woman actually came in and inquired about buying glasses sans prescription lenses. She said, with a straight face, that she just had Lasik surgery and wanted them "just for fashion." This is easily the dumbest thing I've ever heard a woman ask without the slightest hint of self-awareness of the ridiculousness of her inquiry. It's not so much the buying frames for the purposes of fashion that bothers me, although let me be clear that this does in fact bother me, but it pales in comparison to the other problem. It's more the paying thousands of dollars for a surgery that frees you from glasses only to head directly to For Eyes to buy glasses that concerns me. When she left, all the people in the store talked about what an idiot she was. It was gorgeous.
Finally, if only I had the capability to share with you the audio of my eye exam. The opthamalogist was a woman, probably in her mid 30s. You know how they put that scary contraption up to your face and do that "1 or 2? 3 or 4?" to get you to tell them which lens provides the clearest vision for you? Well, this woman was doing it in the highest pitch most annoying voice I've ever heard. I actually started laughing out loud half-way through the exam because I was thinking how much I'd like to record her voice so I could post it on my blog. I don't think she liked me very much.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 7:59 PM
6 Comments:
You've married your mother n killed you're father???
I know a good shrink. Didn't do much for me but he deserves another chance....
The Council built a new shopping centre a few years back n published all the residents suggestions for naming it. Even mine. You're blog title was suggested and came in 5th. Strange Council we've got....
I actually used wear glasses for fashion purposes in the 8th grade. This is the first time I've ever admitted it to someone who wasn't related to me and knew that I didn't actually wear glasses.
Glasses are now the number one fashion accessory in America. And salsa is the #1 condiment.
Actually, I've been thinking about an eye patch. I'm stagnating.
I have glasses to read. They're red-fading-to-pumpkin Vittidinis.
I did that test for tumors where they flash some lightbulb in your eye while they take a picture to see the back of your cornea. Then I kept trying to grab the residual spot I saw for the next ten minutes.
My eyeglass man was overly comfortable with me and kept telling me about his girlfriend who had just broken up with him. By the time I left, I completely understood why.
4D- Hee hee, I get it. Oedipus COMPLEX. No, I didn't shoot my father and married my mom. For some reason I feel the need to clarify that. I bet I'll get some interesting google hits from this one.
Heather- I'm kind of horrified by this revelation. But at the same time, you were in 8th grade. You're excused.
Bone- I just like the way it sounds "Salsa."
Esbee- that's hilarious. I noticed the "doctor" I had was wearing an engagement ring (I always look for that that on women- wonder what that says about me). If she talks to her husband the way she talked to me, she'll be headed for Divo-court any day now.
I have a friend who does the 'glasses for fashion' thing. I, however, am against this for so many reasons. The main one being that my eyesight is so bad I'm practically legally blind w/o my contacts (which I sleep in, you would HATE that) and the glasses they make for me render me un-publicable.
I still think my retinas are going to detach someday. The horrors!!!
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