Bo Knows Sue Ellen Mischke
Money is tight right now, and to avoid the pricey temptations of spring in Chicago, I come to the suburbs to stay at my parents' house for the weekend. Sitting home in the city during the winter cold is one thing; but in the spring it's a whole different story. So I came to the 'burbs on Friday.
Today I went to the area LifeTime Fitness with my parents, or, as I like to call it, Gym of America.
My dad claims it's so crowded that he's had to wait in line to use the showers after his workout. There are rows and rows of equipment, yet not a drop of free water to be found in the entire place. The towels they provide are roughly the size of a buffet napkin, and the personal trainer-to-member ratio is 6-1, which, if they fired 10% of that staff, they'd be half-way home in solving the overcrowding problem. In spite of this, the workout was quite satisfying because it came with a complimentary Chicago area celebrity sighting, which qualifies as a quasi to a not-at-all-a celebrity sighting for those of you outside Chicago. Bo Jackson lives in a suburb near my parents' house, and evidently he belongs to every gym within a 5 mile radius of it. I know this because I've seen him twice in my whole life, and both times it was at a gym, but not the same gym both times. Plus, a friend of mine belonged to a completely separate gym, and he worked out there too. He's a monster. Anyway, the point of this story is that he (along with just about every other disgusting middle-aged man there) totally checked me out. My mom says he does that to all the ladies at the gym, but I like to think he was drawn to the wife-beater I wear when I work out.
The weekend in the suburbs was, otherwise, pretty uneventful. I baked a carrot cake, completely from scratch for tomorrow's holiday. I also discovered a violent twitch in my arm. It's so bad that it looks like that scene in Alien where the alien comes out of that guy's stomach- except the alien appears to be trying to emerge from my arm. I hope an alien doesn't come out of my arm at the dinner table tomorrow.
Today I went to the area LifeTime Fitness with my parents, or, as I like to call it, Gym of America.
My dad claims it's so crowded that he's had to wait in line to use the showers after his workout. There are rows and rows of equipment, yet not a drop of free water to be found in the entire place. The towels they provide are roughly the size of a buffet napkin, and the personal trainer-to-member ratio is 6-1, which, if they fired 10% of that staff, they'd be half-way home in solving the overcrowding problem. In spite of this, the workout was quite satisfying because it came with a complimentary Chicago area celebrity sighting, which qualifies as a quasi to a not-at-all-a celebrity sighting for those of you outside Chicago. Bo Jackson lives in a suburb near my parents' house, and evidently he belongs to every gym within a 5 mile radius of it. I know this because I've seen him twice in my whole life, and both times it was at a gym, but not the same gym both times. Plus, a friend of mine belonged to a completely separate gym, and he worked out there too. He's a monster. Anyway, the point of this story is that he (along with just about every other disgusting middle-aged man there) totally checked me out. My mom says he does that to all the ladies at the gym, but I like to think he was drawn to the wife-beater I wear when I work out.The weekend in the suburbs was, otherwise, pretty uneventful. I baked a carrot cake, completely from scratch for tomorrow's holiday. I also discovered a violent twitch in my arm. It's so bad that it looks like that scene in Alien where the alien comes out of that guy's stomach- except the alien appears to be trying to emerge from my arm. I hope an alien doesn't come out of my arm at the dinner table tomorrow.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 7:47 PM
21 Comments:
Oops. You're gettin' spammed. Get you're security stuff up n runnin' quick.
Nowt wrong with gettin' checked out. Been goin to gyms for years and nobody's checked me out!!
What a coincidence - I came home for some free food, I mean for Easter this weekend too. I didn't get checked out by a pseudo-celebrity though. No fair! You have all the luck! The only psuedo-celebrity I know of that lives in my parents' hometown is a former quarterback for the Buffalo Bills. (I want to say Jim Thorpe but that can't be right, can it? I think I'm mixing him up with someone else.) Anyway, I don't know if someone can be considered even a pseudo-celebrity if I don't know his name.
4D, I don't know how to make that spam stuff stop. Any hints? I'm sure someone at some point checked you out at the gym. Bo Jackson used to be a stud, but he's way past his prime these days. And not to generalize, but I've never met a past-his-prime african-american man that did not check me out.
L, as far as I'm concerned, you're never too old to go home for free food and lodging. My mom even took me shopping and bought me a spring coat. Now some might say I am too old for that, but I'm not ready to re-evaluate that part of my life just yet.
Ghostbusters is on. This movie is HILARIOUS. Rick Moranis is brilliant in this movie. Brilliant.
"Now why is that a cake? You don't make carrots into a cake. I'm sorry!"
It's nice to see the appeal of the braless O'Henry heiress knows no age or racial barriers ;-)
PS: Turn on word verification if the spam gets too annoying.
Blake, I get a $10 bill from my grandma for Easter too. Can't beat that!
Bone, thanks for the tip. I think I like the spammers- it pads my stats a little bit.
Just set up your word verification thingy via editing n it'll stop it.
Actually a real babe checked me out once at the gym. Unfortunately she was 72 n havin' physio on her hip replacement. She said "Cor what a bod!". I looked around n was alarmed to see there was only the 2 of us in the gym.
Been back lots but she's never there.
I must be daft, what was it that he was checking out on you? Did you do a teeth check before smiling at him?
By the way, are you sure it wasn't Sugar Ray Leonard?
(Just thought of that.)
I don't know if I should be offended by your question, Camie. I'm not a 10 or anything but I don't think I'd need to have something in my teeth for a guy to be checking me out. If he's anything like the majority of men that check me out, I'd say he was looking at my boobs. Or my winning smile.
Bone, does Bo look like Sugar to you?
I'm putting word ver on b/c I'm tired of the spam. I think they saw my comment that I like it for stat-padding purposes.
Creepy yes... but you HAVE to admit that something like that is a nice boost to the ole' self esteem... no matter who you are. You no doubt walked around the rest of the day approaching everyone you met with smug grin thinking in the back of your mind, "yeah... that's right... Bo Jackson wants me."
Wow, you must think the world of yourself. In spite of the fact that you've got nothing to do but go and hang out with your parents on the weekend, you still can muster the confidence to think that one of the greatest athletes ever was checking you out. 3 cheers for those self-confidence tapes!
My hunch is that this is NOT TFB - While he's a sarcastic son of a bitch sometimes, he's not the type to hide behind an anonymous post.
Yes, after some investigation, I suspect it is not TFB. But from what I can tell, it is someone from your page, Mr. Marc. Your readers are haters!
Not haters... some of them just like a good verbal tussle (they do it even amongst themselves).
P.S. Easiest way to get rid of spam is simply to delete the occasional spam comment (if you're logged in you should see a little trash can next to each comment - If you "delete permanently" there should be no record of it).
Plus... I say you should be flattered that they're so anxious to see you what you look like. Those eyes of yours are apparently a little hypnotic.
The funny this is, Marc, I've commented on TFBs page recently and my old head shot is still on his page- when he did a post about watching some awful movie with Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McCanahey (sp?). So all he has to do is check his blog and he'll see the rest of my face.
Isn't that why you love me Garg?
Marc, I don't think you're gay. And even if you were, I'd be okay with that.
sue ellen degeneres:
Thanks for talking about me, I can't take credit for the anonymous posting though. Thanks again for the full facial picture, sorry I didn't notice it before...
Marc: You're probably gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But it's true.
TFB- sorry I accused you of being a HUGE DICK on my blog. I'm glad it wasn't you. I don't want to hate any of gay Marc's readers. Hmmmmm... guess that full facial picture didn't leave as much of an impression as my eyes did. Maybe I should walk around in mask that covers everything but my eyes. Bo Jackson would be lovin' me for sure then.
I'm glad that we can both agree that Marc is gay. Now if we could just get Marc to see the light....
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