100 things
1. I was married once for 8 months.
2. We were together for 5 years prior to the marriage falling apart.
3. It was my fault.
4. This fact of my life weighs on me constantly; there isn't a day in my life that I don't think about some facet of the situation.
5. This also could have been condensed to occupy only one spot on this list; however, for better and for worse, I felt it was important that it occupy at least 5% of my list because it is at least 25% of who I am.
6. I probably have more regrets than any 29-year-old you know.
7. I'm an AWFUL decision maker.
8. Most people that meet my parents say I look exactly like my mom and have a similar personality to my dad.
9. I take that as a compliment because my mom is' hot and my dad is hilarious.
10. For several years, I thought the lyrics to California Love by Tupac were as follows: "California: No Doubt About It" (rather than "California knows how to party").
11. I have 2 nieces, Rosa and Gianna. Sometimes I cry just thinking about them in pain, be it minor pain like someone saying something mean or serious pain, like something awful happening to them.
12. This, combined with many other issues, makes me terrified of being a mom.
13. I also have another niece/nephew due in roughly 10 days.
14. My boyfriend is a cop, but we never do role- playing naughty cop stuff, even though people always assume we do.
15. I met him when he was in his uniform; he was working traffic duty and he stopped traffic so I (and 50 other people) could cross the intersection of Monroe and Columbus in Chicago.
16. Early in May, the Chicago Police Dept has the St. Jude Memorial march, where all off-duty officers march down Chicago Ave in their dress uniforms. This is unquestionably my favorite day of the year.
17. That march usually comes no more than one week after my birthday, which is my least favorite day of the year.
18. It's not that I feel old, it's that I had many expectations for where I would be by this age, and I have met only one of those thus far.
19. I get along better with men than women.
20. But I have a nice group of girlfriends whom I went to college with; most of them live out of state.
21. Even though I'm afraid to have kids, I have considered just not taking my pill to see if I will get pregnant.
22. I'm very insecure.
23. But I don't think that is outwardly apparent to most people who meet me.
24. I won "Funniest Laugh" "Odd Couple (with my then boyfriend) "Most Talkative" and, worst, "Most obnoxious" in high school. I am the only person in the school's history to have won so many "Senior Superlative" awards.
25. In nearly every conversation I am a part of, I am thinking of funny things I could say, even about inappropriate topics like death, abortion and war.
26. I'm usually pretty good at censoring those inappropriate thoughts, but every now and again, I will let one slip and piss off at least one person in the room who I feel lacks a sense of humor.
27. I'm cynical.
28. I have a very bad habit of looking people up and down when they walk in the room.
29. After doing this, I usually conclude that most of the women in the room are better looking than me.
30. But I console myself by being convinced I must be funnier and smarter than anyone prettier than me.
31. I'd like to go on believing this.
32. I am the butt of the joke for everyone that knows me.
33. People make me the butt of the joke because, apparently, it's very funny to see me worked up.
34. However, it bothers me that people always goof on me. I never say anything though because I don't want to seem like I'm being a wuss. And so I don't outwardly get as worked up as I feel inside.
35. My therapist says I exacerbate the problem with my self-deprecating humor, giving permission to virtually everyone who meets to me to goof on me.
36. I have a paralyzing fear of wide-open spaces of any kind including lakes, oceans, large empty pools, open fields, large empty rooms.
37. That's why I'm a city girl.
38. I've never left the continental United States save for one trip to Mexico.
39. I tan easily.
40. I speak Spanish fairly well, and when I was in Mexico, the people that worked there were nuts about my husband and me because he was a funny drunk white guy and I was a funny drunk girl who thought her Spanish improved with each bottle of wine she consumed.
41. I know I'm supposed to want to travel because I'm "young" and "unattached", but I'd probably be perfectly happy taking one small vacation each year to a warm place on a beach.
42. I'm disappointed in myself in this regard.
43. My all-time favorite Cubs are: Jody Davis, Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson and Greg Maddux
44. I hate everything about football, especially the sound of it; the only football I voluntarily watch is the Bears, and even then I can tolerate it only if it is on mute.
45. I go to my grandma's house every Sunday, where we eat a "dinner" at noon that consists of pasta, meatballs, sausage, salad, Diet Rite and bread. It's been the exact same meal my whole life, with very little variation in any minor detail (including the type of pasta- usually rigatoni).
46. When I was in 8th grade, I signed everyone's yearbook as follows: Love Tara, the #1 Crue fan.
47. That's because I thought I was the biggest Motley Crue fan ever.
48. I'm embarrassed by this.
49. I used to make mix tapes for my friends with Motley Crue songs on them; I probably made more mix tapes than Motley Crue deserved.
50. I think tourette's syndrome is a scream.
51. My mom is 100% Italian and my dad is half Italian/half German.
52. I don't like rich people.
53. I realized not too long ago that I will never be rich so I think that's why rich people bother me so much.
54. I will never live anywhere more than 30 miles away from Chicago.
55. If I'm ever single, I'll weed men out based on the likelihood that they'll want to move away someday. I'd sooner give up a potential soul mate than move.
56. I listen to music very loudly.
57. I used to believe people when they would console me with "Everything will work out. You'll see." Now it just pisses me off because I don't necessarily believe that anymore.
58. I started writing this post in early March because I knew I would agonize over it.
59. When I can't sleep at night, I say the alphabet backwards, which was advice I got from another blogger.
60. I am on the fence, no pun intended, on the immigration issue.
61. My hair is naturally curly, and it is dark brown.
62. My eyes are a goldish brown color.
63. My best feature is probably my skin, which is olive in color, inexplicably soft and almost always blemish-free.
64. I wore braces from 5th grade until 8th grade so my teeth are pretty straight, but not as straight as my sister's teeth because she wore her retainer more frequently than I.
65. My arch nemesis up until 6th grade was a girl named Roberta.
66. I haven't been to the dentist in 13 months.
67. I'd consider getting plastic surgery some day.
68. My students typically think of me as kind of a hardass because I don't sugarcoat things.
69. That's why I teach high school instead of junior high; most high school kids can handle constructive criticism, whereas junior high kids are sensitive wussies.
70. I taught 8th grade for one year and it was the worst year of my life as a professional educator.
71. I subbed in the Chicago Public Schools a few times in the year after I quit teaching junior high.
72. I met a midget named Jarmel who was hilarious, and I wanted to adopt him.
73. I met a kid who called me a salty cracker when I told him to sit down and be quiet. I told him I'd be mad at him if that wasn't the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
74. I met both of those kids during one day of subbing.
75. As much as I love my current students, they don't have nearly as much character as some of the kids I met as a sub in a shitty school in the Chicago Public School system.
76. I spell things backwards in my mind when I'm sitting in traffic.
77. I get virtually all of my news from National Public Radio.
78. My first job was at a banquet hall called Ripples. The owners were Greek and the son's name was Gar; I've never met anyone before of after that with the name Gar.
79. I've had many retail jobs including The Nature Company, The Gap, a boutique in Hinsdale, IL, Pottery Barn and West Elm.
80. I did have one job for 2 days before I got the job at Ripples. It was at TCBY, and I resigned after my first day because it was "too much pressure" to go to school (I was a sophomore) and work (one day/week).
81. I got 3 moving violations in one night less than 4 months after I got my license.
82. I've been pulled over 13 times, but I've only been given tickets a few times.
83. However, since I bought my Prius, I haven't been pulled over once.
84. "I've Made a Huge Mistake" is a line that was repeated frequently in the TV series "Arrested Development."
85. It doesn't apply exactly to my life because I don't think every choice I've made was a bad one, but the phrase does run through my mind every now and again.
86. I'm terrible at math.
87. I enjoy napping on the couch in the middle of the day with the fan on and the windows open.
88. I am a clean person, and I feel myself getting more anal retentive about cleanliness as I get older.
89. This might have something to do with the fact that my boyfriend is a neat freak and he is rubbing off on me.
90. I am not a pack-rat. In fact, I throw things out all the time.
91. I don't save my paycheck stubs.
92. I'm not even sure why I'm supposed to keep my paycheck stubs.
93. I don't trust people with small noses.
94. The sexiest part of a man's body is his shoulders.
95. I pee at least 10 times a day. It's not necessarily that I have to go that many times; it's more that I am terrified that I will have to go when I don't have access to a bathroom.
96. I don't feel I read often enough.
97. I went to Marquette University where I majored in journalism.
98. I loved it there, but the two facts listed in #97 are two of my biggest mistakes because I didn't ultimately go into journalism and I paid too much money to go to college.
99. I have made lots of other mistakes that I don't care to go into right now.
100. I'm so glad to be done with this list.
25peeps.com
2. We were together for 5 years prior to the marriage falling apart.
3. It was my fault.
4. This fact of my life weighs on me constantly; there isn't a day in my life that I don't think about some facet of the situation.
5. This also could have been condensed to occupy only one spot on this list; however, for better and for worse, I felt it was important that it occupy at least 5% of my list because it is at least 25% of who I am.
6. I probably have more regrets than any 29-year-old you know.
7. I'm an AWFUL decision maker.
8. Most people that meet my parents say I look exactly like my mom and have a similar personality to my dad.
9. I take that as a compliment because my mom is' hot and my dad is hilarious.
10. For several years, I thought the lyrics to California Love by Tupac were as follows: "California: No Doubt About It" (rather than "California knows how to party").
11. I have 2 nieces, Rosa and Gianna. Sometimes I cry just thinking about them in pain, be it minor pain like someone saying something mean or serious pain, like something awful happening to them.
12. This, combined with many other issues, makes me terrified of being a mom.
13. I also have another niece/nephew due in roughly 10 days.
14. My boyfriend is a cop, but we never do role- playing naughty cop stuff, even though people always assume we do.
15. I met him when he was in his uniform; he was working traffic duty and he stopped traffic so I (and 50 other people) could cross the intersection of Monroe and Columbus in Chicago.
16. Early in May, the Chicago Police Dept has the St. Jude Memorial march, where all off-duty officers march down Chicago Ave in their dress uniforms. This is unquestionably my favorite day of the year.
17. That march usually comes no more than one week after my birthday, which is my least favorite day of the year.
18. It's not that I feel old, it's that I had many expectations for where I would be by this age, and I have met only one of those thus far.
19. I get along better with men than women.
20. But I have a nice group of girlfriends whom I went to college with; most of them live out of state.
21. Even though I'm afraid to have kids, I have considered just not taking my pill to see if I will get pregnant.
22. I'm very insecure.
23. But I don't think that is outwardly apparent to most people who meet me.
24. I won "Funniest Laugh" "Odd Couple (with my then boyfriend) "Most Talkative" and, worst, "Most obnoxious" in high school. I am the only person in the school's history to have won so many "Senior Superlative" awards.
25. In nearly every conversation I am a part of, I am thinking of funny things I could say, even about inappropriate topics like death, abortion and war.
26. I'm usually pretty good at censoring those inappropriate thoughts, but every now and again, I will let one slip and piss off at least one person in the room who I feel lacks a sense of humor.
27. I'm cynical.
28. I have a very bad habit of looking people up and down when they walk in the room.
29. After doing this, I usually conclude that most of the women in the room are better looking than me.
30. But I console myself by being convinced I must be funnier and smarter than anyone prettier than me.
31. I'd like to go on believing this.
32. I am the butt of the joke for everyone that knows me.
33. People make me the butt of the joke because, apparently, it's very funny to see me worked up.
34. However, it bothers me that people always goof on me. I never say anything though because I don't want to seem like I'm being a wuss. And so I don't outwardly get as worked up as I feel inside.
35. My therapist says I exacerbate the problem with my self-deprecating humor, giving permission to virtually everyone who meets to me to goof on me.
36. I have a paralyzing fear of wide-open spaces of any kind including lakes, oceans, large empty pools, open fields, large empty rooms.
37. That's why I'm a city girl.
38. I've never left the continental United States save for one trip to Mexico.
39. I tan easily.
40. I speak Spanish fairly well, and when I was in Mexico, the people that worked there were nuts about my husband and me because he was a funny drunk white guy and I was a funny drunk girl who thought her Spanish improved with each bottle of wine she consumed.
41. I know I'm supposed to want to travel because I'm "young" and "unattached", but I'd probably be perfectly happy taking one small vacation each year to a warm place on a beach.
42. I'm disappointed in myself in this regard.
43. My all-time favorite Cubs are: Jody Davis, Ryne Sandberg, Andre Dawson and Greg Maddux
44. I hate everything about football, especially the sound of it; the only football I voluntarily watch is the Bears, and even then I can tolerate it only if it is on mute.
45. I go to my grandma's house every Sunday, where we eat a "dinner" at noon that consists of pasta, meatballs, sausage, salad, Diet Rite and bread. It's been the exact same meal my whole life, with very little variation in any minor detail (including the type of pasta- usually rigatoni).
46. When I was in 8th grade, I signed everyone's yearbook as follows: Love Tara, the #1 Crue fan.
47. That's because I thought I was the biggest Motley Crue fan ever.
48. I'm embarrassed by this.
49. I used to make mix tapes for my friends with Motley Crue songs on them; I probably made more mix tapes than Motley Crue deserved.
50. I think tourette's syndrome is a scream.
51. My mom is 100% Italian and my dad is half Italian/half German.
52. I don't like rich people.
53. I realized not too long ago that I will never be rich so I think that's why rich people bother me so much.
54. I will never live anywhere more than 30 miles away from Chicago.
55. If I'm ever single, I'll weed men out based on the likelihood that they'll want to move away someday. I'd sooner give up a potential soul mate than move.
56. I listen to music very loudly.
57. I used to believe people when they would console me with "Everything will work out. You'll see." Now it just pisses me off because I don't necessarily believe that anymore.
58. I started writing this post in early March because I knew I would agonize over it.
59. When I can't sleep at night, I say the alphabet backwards, which was advice I got from another blogger.
60. I am on the fence, no pun intended, on the immigration issue.
61. My hair is naturally curly, and it is dark brown.
62. My eyes are a goldish brown color.
63. My best feature is probably my skin, which is olive in color, inexplicably soft and almost always blemish-free.
64. I wore braces from 5th grade until 8th grade so my teeth are pretty straight, but not as straight as my sister's teeth because she wore her retainer more frequently than I.
65. My arch nemesis up until 6th grade was a girl named Roberta.
66. I haven't been to the dentist in 13 months.
67. I'd consider getting plastic surgery some day.
68. My students typically think of me as kind of a hardass because I don't sugarcoat things.
69. That's why I teach high school instead of junior high; most high school kids can handle constructive criticism, whereas junior high kids are sensitive wussies.
70. I taught 8th grade for one year and it was the worst year of my life as a professional educator.
71. I subbed in the Chicago Public Schools a few times in the year after I quit teaching junior high.
72. I met a midget named Jarmel who was hilarious, and I wanted to adopt him.
73. I met a kid who called me a salty cracker when I told him to sit down and be quiet. I told him I'd be mad at him if that wasn't the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
74. I met both of those kids during one day of subbing.
75. As much as I love my current students, they don't have nearly as much character as some of the kids I met as a sub in a shitty school in the Chicago Public School system.
76. I spell things backwards in my mind when I'm sitting in traffic.
77. I get virtually all of my news from National Public Radio.
78. My first job was at a banquet hall called Ripples. The owners were Greek and the son's name was Gar; I've never met anyone before of after that with the name Gar.
79. I've had many retail jobs including The Nature Company, The Gap, a boutique in Hinsdale, IL, Pottery Barn and West Elm.
80. I did have one job for 2 days before I got the job at Ripples. It was at TCBY, and I resigned after my first day because it was "too much pressure" to go to school (I was a sophomore) and work (one day/week).
81. I got 3 moving violations in one night less than 4 months after I got my license.
82. I've been pulled over 13 times, but I've only been given tickets a few times.
83. However, since I bought my Prius, I haven't been pulled over once.
84. "I've Made a Huge Mistake" is a line that was repeated frequently in the TV series "Arrested Development."
85. It doesn't apply exactly to my life because I don't think every choice I've made was a bad one, but the phrase does run through my mind every now and again.
86. I'm terrible at math.
87. I enjoy napping on the couch in the middle of the day with the fan on and the windows open.
88. I am a clean person, and I feel myself getting more anal retentive about cleanliness as I get older.
89. This might have something to do with the fact that my boyfriend is a neat freak and he is rubbing off on me.
90. I am not a pack-rat. In fact, I throw things out all the time.
91. I don't save my paycheck stubs.
92. I'm not even sure why I'm supposed to keep my paycheck stubs.
93. I don't trust people with small noses.
94. The sexiest part of a man's body is his shoulders.
95. I pee at least 10 times a day. It's not necessarily that I have to go that many times; it's more that I am terrified that I will have to go when I don't have access to a bathroom.
96. I don't feel I read often enough.
97. I went to Marquette University where I majored in journalism.
98. I loved it there, but the two facts listed in #97 are two of my biggest mistakes because I didn't ultimately go into journalism and I paid too much money to go to college.
99. I have made lots of other mistakes that I don't care to go into right now.
100. I'm so glad to be done with this list.
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15 Comments:
That was great!
I'm with you on point 10 (California Love) - I always thought it was "no town upon it", though part of me knew this couldn't really be right.
Which reminds me: the new Primal Scream song - I was sure he was saying "I kill a Pope or two". Apparently it's "what can a poor boy do?" Oops.
"No doubt about it" doesn't sound anything like "Knows how to party."
Although just the other day I was listening to "You're so vain" and realized, after however many years, that it's "wife of a close friend" instead of "wife of a postman."
And a friend of mine thought the CCR song was "there's a bathroom on the right" instead of "bad moon on the rise." Oh, and my french friend thought the national anthem started out "Jose, can you see?" I think that's my favorite.
I'm with you on Cali Love, SEM. Good list, thanks. Mammoth undertaking, it seems.
I hate most 100 things posts, but yours flowed really, really well, and didn't seem contrived. Well, I mean, I know it's a contrived concept, but I didn't feel like you wanted me to view you in a way I do not. And I actually enjoyed reading it because of that.
More I read n more I like. He's a lucky cop. Be happy. x
I love 69.....(take that as you will).
Lizzie, my parents always thought it sounded like bathroom on the right too. My mom thought "Jump, Jive and Wail" by Brian Setzer sounds like "Drunk Diver in your way."
Will- "no town upon it" is hilarious. At least you had the sense that it might not be right though. I would be drunk at a party in college and I'd sing it out loud like I knew what he was saying.
L, I've heard people say that they thought that about the Nat'l Anthem too.
*, it was a mammoth undertaking, but I did enjoy it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, Esbee.
4D, thanks :)
ND, somehow it doesn't surprise me that you picked out #69.
32. I am the butt of the joke for everyone that knows me.
Me too. And I'm obsessed with NPR which also causes people I know to make fun of me.
People make fun of me too about that. I don't care though.
That was amazing. Loved it. Absolutely loved it.
Thanks, Marc. I'm really glad you liked it.
I just stumbled upon your blog through another blog and love it. I can relate in many ways to your ways of thinking and I've added you to my links bar.
Best of luck with your BF and all else.
Thanks, Z!
Wow. This is really weird....I found your blog because I googled the lyrics "California no doubt it" because that song has been stuck in my head all day long. I swear it sounds more like "No doubt about it" than "knows how to party" ....as does everyone else. That's so funny. Anyways, your last post was cool.
Hunger Ride, that is HILARIOUS! I am glad I am not the only one!
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