Are you an asshole?

I have always been fond of tests, surveys or inventories that purport to classify my personality. When I was a teenager, the first place I looked in those teen magazines that inevitably destroyed my already fragile self-esteem was the obligatory personality test. With these test, I sought to learn my "shopping personality" and "which jeans best describe my personality?" To this day, I even do those stupid internet quizzes to determine which South Park character I am, even though I don't watch South Park. I rarely like the outcome, but that never stops me from taking part.

So when my colleague told me about an enlightening personality test she was "trained" on, I of course asked her for a copy of it. To begin with, I did not realize personality tests required training; however, even though I have taken many of these, I can't claim to be an expert in the field of diagnostic personality profiling. Inevitably, when I take these tests, I find out what I have always suspected was the case...
I kind of suck.

Now to be fair, I do, of course, learn that I have a few positive traits, but I can't help but harp on the bad ones. Based on the "Wired That Way" personality profile, I am mostly a "powerful choleric" but with strong "popular sanguine" tendencies. What does that mean? In a nutshell:
Sue Ellen The Powerful Choleric:
I'm a born leader, dynamic and active but also bossy, brassy, impatient, unsympathetic and inflexible.
I'm goal oriented, organized and I seek practical solutions, but I'm also intolerant, rude, tactless, demanding and manipulative.
I'm a leader who is "usually right", but I tend to use people, dominate others, am possessive and incapable of saying I'm sorry.

Sue Ellen The Popular Sanguine
I'm a talkative storyteller who is "good on the stage", but I'm also a loud talker and laugher who scares other off.
I'm energetic and enthusiastic and charming, but I'm also forgetful, undisciplined and emotional.
I make friends easily and I'm "envied by others", but I need to be the center of attention, am domineering (this one keeps coming up) and I hate to be alone.

Basically, I'm an asshole.

This isn't totally accurate, which I am sure you won't find surprising. For example, the powerful choleric "excels in emergencies." That's not me. I respond well to pressure, but put me in an emergency, and I'm in the fetal position in the corner with tears streaming down my face. The powerful choleric is also unemotional; I am nothing if not emotional. I guess that's why I'm not totally one or the other, but a mix of both. I made my boyfriend take it. Turns out, he's an even bigger asshole than I am. I guess one asshole deserves another.