Retail Therapy
These boots are gorgeous, are they not? Mr. Donald J. Pliner has once again went and designed a pair of $300+ boots I cannot afford. My obsession with these boots has been so intense that I dreamt about them last night. Sadly, that's not the first time this has happened (I have a recurring dream about the pair of Joe's Jeans in my closet that I wore so often that there is now a giant hole in them preventing me from wearing them). However, I spent an entire therapy session today discussing these boots with my shrink... now that's a first. I may have never mentioned that I am in therapy, but if you've spent any time reading this blog (particularly this) you probably aren't surprised to hear that. I have a number of options available to me in obtaining these coveted DJP creations. All of these are options I've explored in the past with varying degrees of success. They are, in order of most to least likely to wield success, with success being actually having these gorgeous specimens on my feet by Sep 5:
1. Beg my mom to buy them for me
2. Whip out a credit card and pay for them over 5 years
3. Beg my boyfriend to buy them for me
However, both my therapist and I agreed that these are the decisions that the Sue Ellen Mischke of years past would make. I am a new and improved Sue Ellen Mischke driven by several factors to get my ass out of debt. They are, in order of most persuasive to least:
1. My boyfriend won't marry me until I pay off my car and my credit card (a decision my therapist says is a good one).
----
Did I say several? Well, I was lying. I wish I had more motivation than that one thing for many reasons (not the least of which is I want to create parallelism between the two lists), but really, this fact is the only fact that motivates me to get out of debt. Every time I find myself in a shoe store (today in fact) or a clothing store (last weekend in fact), I ask myself if this pair of shoes or that pair of jeans is more important to me than him (which typically the answer is no). With that in mind, I've decided to try something that my doctor says I am not very good at--- and that is WAITING to buy them. While I am WAITING, I am going to put money aside and then pay for them in cash if I still want them so badly. The idea here is that I will feel "good" about exercising restraint to save up for them, rather than having someone buy them for me or charging them on a credit card. My instinct is to say that I will feel good the second I get those sexy boots on my feet no matter how I make them mine, but, as George did one fine episode of Seinfeld, I am going to ignore my instincts and do The Opposite, as my initial instincts are so often wrong.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 7:22 PM
22 Comments:
I'll buy them for you!
Ah, The Opposite. With Georgie Boy's face all scrunched up in Elaine's hand and him saying, "Instinct."
That's gold, Jerry!
Save the money, Sue Ellen. And by the time you have enough cash, the boots'll be old news and cheaper in the sale. Win-win.
I need knew boots n all dan. Soccer boots. Size 8, moulded stud. SE can wait for the sales I need mine now!
Dan, size 9.
*, that's one of my all-time favorite episodes. I am going to save the money, I promise. And I thought of that, too... that they'd be on sale. With my luck, they won't be and they'll be sold out and I'll get into a bidding war with some other girl and lose.
4D, hey! He's buying me my boots! Back off!
They look like French memo boards to me.
You're in therapy?! I thought that only happened in films and sitcoms and shit! America is just like the movies.
since i moved to the land of the wrestling shoe and cobbel stone sidewalks dreaming is the closest i ever come to a cute heel like that.
It sounds like it would be very dangerous for us to go shopping together.
It always sucks having to choose between what's most responsible, and what's most fun. And 99 percent of the time, they are at opposite ends of the spectrum.
E, I know they do. I thought of that too. But gorgeous French memo boards. $300 french memo boards.
Yes, Will, I'm a total cliche. You read this blog though, so you can't possibly be surprised by this.
Defensive, they are cute, but I agree that they'd be useless on cobblestone.
Z, it's dangerous for anyone to go shopping with me. I'm known for my ability to convince people to buy things they cannot afford. Just ask my former mother-in-law, whom I convinced to buy a $3000 St. John knit ensemble for our wedding. Poor woman. She'll probably never want to wear it again because it will forever remind her of her sons failed marriage. It was stunning though.
1. You've mentioned your therapist before on the site, including here:
"35. My therapist says I exacerbate the problem with my self-deprecating humor, giving permission to virtually everyone who meets to me to goof on me."
2. I think I've seen boots like that on the street tables set up all over D.C... right next to all the Coach and Prada knock-offs.
3. If that won't cut it... then you can always try this on for size.
Oh... and here's another therapist reference:
"I spent a while talking about this with my therapist tonight, and I'm not sure if I should be thrilled that I can't boil my beliefs down to one concise concept or if I should be horrified that I am so uncertain in my beliefs that I can't even come up with one single belief I find essay-worthy."
Holy shit, Marc, you really do read my blog. You don't have to memorize it though.
Are you telling me NOT to memorize it or just simply saying that it isn't a condition of our friendship? Just thought I should make clear.
I am telling you that, while it is flattering that you have memorized my blog, it is simply not necessary for the friendship. Now go memorize my 100 things; there will be a test on Tuesday.
Yeah, it was a good thought, until I spent all my money on treatment for my neck.
Fuck, I need a better paying job. Or a dual income.
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Wow. You've really got that stern authoritarian teacher thing down. With that policeman you've got yourself that must make for some killer role-playing.
I will neither confirm nor deny that; rather, I'll leave that to the imagination of the reader.
If you buy into the theory of retail therapy, which has always worked for you in the past, then you'll drop your therapist and trust in the boots.
Hell, now I want those boots! Donald and I go way back. He has a very special place in my heart.
Anon, whoever you are, you know me too well. But no, I won't do it. Besides, my therapist is always telling me how smart and funny I am so he's better for my ego.
Heather, go, buy them. Wear them and send me pictures. I went to Nordstrom and visited them the other day. I wept.
I envision your dreams/days go something like this
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