An Ode to Brian...
I LOVE the idea of stealing ideas from other bloggers. So, in light of that, I will air my grievances here, just as Brian did
1. These jeans keep falling off my ass.
2. Overpriced clothes and shoes are way more overpriced these days.
3. My mom keeps checking the balance on my checking account.
4. 9 episodes of Seinfeld/day on my TiVo are not nearly enough.
5. My hair looks so good these days (this isn't really a grievance; it's just a shameless plug for my great locks)
6. Michael gets more ass than a toilet seat.
7. I saw Stephen Malkmus in concert, and he refused to play even one Pavement song.
8. Michael works with a bunch of homos, one of whom insists on being called Anthony Daniel. Not just Anthony and not just Daniel, but both Anthony and Daniel (p.s. I can say homos because I love the gays and they love me).
9. Are we EVER going to have a president that DOESN'T have a southern accent? EVER??
10.Kai Ryssdal is dead sexy and I'm guessing I can't have him.
11. People in NYC still think it is better than Chicago. Ok, seriously folks, it's not. Let's move on.
12. Jewel doesn't carry Kris pinot grigio.
13. I make about $14/hour and I have a masters degree.
14. I don't see my boyfriend nearly enough.
15. And when I do see him, he refuses to wear his uniform.
16.This is the worst site ever
17. Let's face it; my students are probably getting more action than I am (see #14)
18. That bitch at Benetton.
19. I know the exact wording of the outgoing message on my boyfriend's voicemail.
20. I am a bad decision maker.
1. These jeans keep falling off my ass.
2. Overpriced clothes and shoes are way more overpriced these days.
3. My mom keeps checking the balance on my checking account.
4. 9 episodes of Seinfeld/day on my TiVo are not nearly enough.
5. My hair looks so good these days (this isn't really a grievance; it's just a shameless plug for my great locks)
6. Michael gets more ass than a toilet seat.
7. I saw Stephen Malkmus in concert, and he refused to play even one Pavement song.
8. Michael works with a bunch of homos, one of whom insists on being called Anthony Daniel. Not just Anthony and not just Daniel, but both Anthony and Daniel (p.s. I can say homos because I love the gays and they love me).
9. Are we EVER going to have a president that DOESN'T have a southern accent? EVER??
10.Kai Ryssdal is dead sexy and I'm guessing I can't have him.
11. People in NYC still think it is better than Chicago. Ok, seriously folks, it's not. Let's move on.
12. Jewel doesn't carry Kris pinot grigio.
13. I make about $14/hour and I have a masters degree.
14. I don't see my boyfriend nearly enough.
15. And when I do see him, he refuses to wear his uniform.
16.This is the worst site ever
17. Let's face it; my students are probably getting more action than I am (see #14)
18. That bitch at Benetton.
19. I know the exact wording of the outgoing message on my boyfriend's voicemail.
20. I am a bad decision maker.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 7:56 PM
10 Comments:
Spectacular.
Brian, you rock. I don't tell you this enough, but I seriously think you rock. Have the best-est Christmas ever.
Thanks, Tara! You, too!
And thanks for dropping my url at other people's websites (lord knows I don't have the looks or the breasts to draw in the traffic on my own...). The one I really like is http://littlenibbler.blogspot.com. He likes Seinfeld! Yay for Seinfeld!
Anyway, enjoy your Xmas!
B
Yeah, Brian, I've been to his before. I think I found it through the Army guy.
Are you coming to my New Year's Eve party? My cute friend Sarah is going to be there. So will the famous Jeffrey. Let me know if you can come, and then I'll call you with the details.
Totally relate to number 20 (making horrific decisions - usually requiring major upheaval in my life that I later regret - is a particular talent of mine), totally disagree on number 11. I love Chicago but am one of those annoying people the rest of the country loves to hate because I know that nowhere else on earth compares to New York. Are we gonna have to throw down? Just let me finish this glass of pinot grigio first...
p.s. Thank god this stupid holiday will be over in half an hour so I won't have to feel so guilty about blogging.
p.p.s. as a fellow Seinfeld junkie, I have to ask, what's your favorite episode? Mine's the one where Elaine is stuck on the subway (season 2 or 3 I think?)
I am going to avoid the NYC vs. Chicago debate. I don't want to have to embarass you in front of all these people ;)
Favoite Seinfeld? God. That's not easy. I just watched The Jimmy episode ("Jimmy's sweet on you."). That's a classic. I love the Summer of George episode and Relationship George vs. Independent George. I also love the cock fighting episode- 'little yerry seinfeld'. And the one I talked about recently with the Elaine mannequin look alike. I also like any episode involving Putty, particularly the one where Elaine figures out he's going to hell, and the one where he wears the Magic 8 Ball jacket. And the high five. I find it funny that it has been off the air for years, yet in my life, it comes up every single time we gather. This is a point of contention for the few people in my life that did not like that show. I was recently talking to a friend of mine who had met a girl that did not watch Seinfeld. He said he can't seriously consider dating someone that does not find Seinfeld funny. I love that I don't think of this as the most absurd reason ever to label someone un-dateable (another great episode by the way).
I got 7 bottles of Pinot Grigio for xmas- all from my bf. It's all I can do right now not to open one. It's not even 1:00, and I drank a lot yesterday so I have to be good.
When do you leave for Haiti? Will you be able to post from there?
Those are all great episodes. I also like the one where Elaine, Jerry and George go to the party on Long Island and Elaine tells some woman "the dingo ate your baby." Basically, I just worship Elaine. I wanted to be her for Halloween this year. I was going to wear a floral dress, white socks, and black loafers like she did in the early years with the half-up kinda puffy hair. I can do a mean imitation of her if I do say so myself - especially "he took (blows on glasses) it out" and the aforementioned "the dingo ate your baby." I figured other than that I could go around shoving people in the chest, shouting "get out!"
I don't think I could date someone that didn't like Seinfeld either. It's kind of the standard for what kind of sense of humor that person has. Plus, I make so many Seinfeld references in my day to day life that if they didn't watch the show, they wouldn't know what I was saying half the time.
7 bottles of pinot grigio? Merry Christmas to you! Being good is overrated, I say open one up now. (p.s. if you lived in the greatest city on earth it would be 2:00 and you definitely could start drinking. I'm just sayin is all...)
I leave for Haiti Jan 9th (I think, somewhere around then at least). I don't know if I'll be able to post and this is causing me major anxiety. I hate the thought of being away from my blog that long. How pathetic is that?
You are on the verge of getting your ass kicked regarding this NYC v. Chicago debate. Don't test me, woman!!!
I totally love the 'he took it out episdoe!' That's one of my favorite Elaine moments. And that costume you referred to? I TOTALLY wanted to do that this year!!! Southie, who you'll see on this page, is my George and we have a Kramer and Jerry, too. Southie is only George because he's bald, but it's still fun. And I haven't dated our Jerry. But visually, we all fit the parts. It's funny. They all live in the 'burbs though so I don't get to hang out with them as much as Lainey gets to hang with her gang. And the GET OUT thing is awesome. I love how in the Bizarro Jerry episode she does that move to the bizarro jerry guy and he falls flat on the ground. She says, "Im sorry. Is there anything I can do." Bizarro George (Gene?) says, "Haven't you done enough?" Hilarious. I think I mentioned in one of my posts that my grandpa always says I remind him of Eliane. Since I too love Elaine, that's a compliment.
One month ago, I would have said that it is pathetic that you are having anxiety about not being able to post from Haiti. However, I don't feel that way anymore. I'm panicking about the fact that, when break is over, I'll be back working full-time and unable to post or check my blog ALL DAY LONG.
You said you are going to Haiti to do research. What are you researching? Are you getting a grad degree now? I'm assuming since you said all of your friends are having babies and getting promotions that you at least have a bachelor's degree- either that or some very advanced friends.
Tara, you think my website looks "gaudy"? What the crap?! Are you serious?
A little gaudy, Brian. Nice, though. I just think maybe the frames are a bit... flamboyant maybe?
Why haven't you added your two cents on this topic between lizzie and I? The Seinfeld one I mean. Although feel free to visit her site and tell her why Chicago is better than NYC.
AND ARE YOU COMING TO MY PARTY???
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