Toner
As I've mentioned before, I got a new roommate last month. Her name is Kelley. To say that Kelley is different from Michael, my previous roommate, would be an understatement. They couldn't be more different, but I love them both anyway.
Getting a new roommate makes me more aware of my quirks. It's just another person in the room when I am at my dumbest, my funniest, my most brilliant, or, more often than not, my craziest. Tonight, I had a moment where Kelley questioned a step in my beauty routine, making me think twice about my habits.
I never thought of myself as needing a lot of products to maintain my hair and skin. But when Michael moved in last year, I was amazed at his multi-layered beauty routine, and I feared I wasn't doing enough, or rather spending enough, for my skin and hair. That's where the Aveda obsession started. So now I have Aveda face wash, makeup remover and eye cream in addition to all the hair products. I know the purpose of all these products (cleanse, remove, tighten and clean/curl/tame respectively). But there is one step in my beauty routine whose purpose is suddenly baffling. I use toner. All I know about toner is that I spritz it on my face after I cleanse but before I apply eye cream and moisturizer. I bought it because Michael had it, and I figured if a gay man uses it, it must be a necessary* step to making me beautiful. Kelley was scrutinizing my product assortment tonight, and here's what happened:
Kelley: (sorting through Sue Ellen's 12 products in the medicine cabinet to make room for her two products; holding the toner) What's this stuff?
Sue Ellen: (horrified that Kelley is not familiar with this essential step in the beauty routine) It's toner.
Kelley: What's it do?
Sue Ellen: (suddenly horrified that she doesn't have an answer to this question) Ummm... it... tones.
Kelley: (silence)
Sue Ellen: (loudly now) IT... you know ... TONES!
Kelley: (laughing) Does saying it louder mean it makes sense?
Now I feel like an ass because I've went and purchased something whose purpose is mysterious at best. I blame it on Michael. See what happens when you live with a gay? He turned me into product-hoarding floozy who will buy anything that supposedly **increases skins moisture level' and 'brings instant refreshment to dry skin.'
* I've since realized that this is flawed logic.
** After this "a-ha moment", I looked up the purpose on the Aveda website. It doesn't make me feel any better.
Getting a new roommate makes me more aware of my quirks. It's just another person in the room when I am at my dumbest, my funniest, my most brilliant, or, more often than not, my craziest. Tonight, I had a moment where Kelley questioned a step in my beauty routine, making me think twice about my habits.
I never thought of myself as needing a lot of products to maintain my hair and skin. But when Michael moved in last year, I was amazed at his multi-layered beauty routine, and I feared I wasn't doing enough, or rather spending enough, for my skin and hair. That's where the Aveda obsession started. So now I have Aveda face wash, makeup remover and eye cream in addition to all the hair products. I know the purpose of all these products (cleanse, remove, tighten and clean/curl/tame respectively). But there is one step in my beauty routine whose purpose is suddenly baffling. I use toner. All I know about toner is that I spritz it on my face after I cleanse but before I apply eye cream and moisturizer. I bought it because Michael had it, and I figured if a gay man uses it, it must be a necessary* step to making me beautiful. Kelley was scrutinizing my product assortment tonight, and here's what happened:
Kelley: (sorting through Sue Ellen's 12 products in the medicine cabinet to make room for her two products; holding the toner) What's this stuff?
Sue Ellen: (horrified that Kelley is not familiar with this essential step in the beauty routine) It's toner.
Kelley: What's it do?
Sue Ellen: (suddenly horrified that she doesn't have an answer to this question) Ummm... it... tones.
Kelley: (silence)
Sue Ellen: (loudly now) IT... you know ... TONES!
Kelley: (laughing) Does saying it louder mean it makes sense?
Now I feel like an ass because I've went and purchased something whose purpose is mysterious at best. I blame it on Michael. See what happens when you live with a gay? He turned me into product-hoarding floozy who will buy anything that supposedly **increases skins moisture level' and 'brings instant refreshment to dry skin.'
* I've since realized that this is flawed logic.
** After this "a-ha moment", I looked up the purpose on the Aveda website. It doesn't make me feel any better.
posted by Sue Ellen Mischke at 9:38 PM
15 Comments:
Little Caz has 2 bathroom cabinets of stuff which Jax shares. I'm not allowed to open them as the one time I did I got hysterics.
Funnily enough, I also once lived with a gay guy from Chicago called Michael. But he just made me want to scrub up worse, to emphasise how straight I was (am. AM!).
Toner closes the pores. When you wash with hot water, you steam the pores open, which is good, as you need to get the crap out. If you don't close the pores before you put on moisturizer, though, they can, especially if you are large pored, become hideously clogged with the oils from the moisturizers. We're talking Breakout City.
Some people don't need toner, but others do. I do.
Is it like photocopier toner?
4D, I had a friend whose mom had tons of products. One time he picked up a tube to brush his teeth. He thought it was toothpaste, but it was Vagisil. If you don't know what that is, you can ask little caz.
Will, I didn't know you lived in Chicago. Hope that Michael didn't give you a bad impression of Chicago gays named Michael. And I don't even know what photocopier toner does.
E- thank you. This helps.
When I saw the header of the post I thought it was about printer toner as well.
I have a horrendous, non-existent beauty routine. I never wash my face, etc. Awful.
My husband has more 'product' than I do, and spends twice as much on his stuff. I don't get it.
When I do wash my face, I use what I think is toner afterward. That burny-cool-feeling stuff? I like it. I feel squeaky clean.
Hey, I wouldn't say that it was living with a gay housemate, seeing that being a gay man myself, I don't use toner... I think its because sometimes you buy things to fill up your cupboard space!!!
Hence the reason why I buy useless things to stick in my cupboard, so I can't fit things in there like toner :P
Z, I used to be the same way. Not so anymore.
adam, I guess I need to get smaller cupborads.
I wouldn't have the first clue what toner does in a makeup sense rather than in a printer/photocopier sense. And even though you didn't know either, SEM, at least you were brand-loyal!
*, I'm nothing if not brand loyal.
Esbee to the rescue. Next time all you have to do is refer Kelley to your Wordaholism cohort.
Sue El: Some of us gays know nothing about product. But maybe it is the gays named Michael who all do. I know like 5 gay Michaels and I think they all know a bit about product.
Z ... you never wash your face?!?!?!?
"See what happens when you live with A GAY?"
GAY as noun -- how interesting! Not sure that has ever been used in a positive way.
Imagine two blue-haired old women under the hair dryers at the beauty parlor. One whispers very loudly, "Did you hear about Dora? Turns out her grandson is a GAY!"
Otherwise, it's never, ever used.
Uncle, I think it has a nice ring to it. I don't think of it as negative, but I guess I can see how one would see it that way.
Yeah, my gay roommate has a ton of shit too, butI haven't changed my routine at all. I steal my lotion form hotel rooms, and have a face wash, and that's it. Of course I lived with girls before I lived with a gay, so I suppose I was used to all these crazy lotions and potions floating around.
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