My iPod is queeny

To keep me busy here in the 'burbs*, I have decided to get a job. Now, to be honest, my instinct was to keep myself busy at Oak Brook mall. I decided, instead, the mature thing to do would be to work to stay busy rather than spend to stay busy, a concept that I wish had occurred to me at 22 rather than 30. I am working at a trucking company with my mom. I have no idea what I am doing. I know that on some days I sort papers into separate piles. I put the originals in one pile and then the duplicates in another. Then I staple the piles together and put them in a stack and hand them to another person. I do a few other things too. I take these small cards and input data from them onto an Excel worksheet. Inevitably, one of the nice ladies working there will ask me something like "Did you get the Savannah pay sheets done" and I have to ask her to phrase her question using simple terminology, such as "Did you put the numeric information from the blue sheets and white sheets onto the beige machine with numbers and letters on it?" Then I am like, "Oh yes, they're right here."

It is mind numbing, and I am certain I am losing IQ points each day I sort papers into piles. They are paying me a fair wage, however, and the hours are flexible so I think I can spare a few IQ points. Frankly, I am losing no more than I would lose on the average Saturday night drinking binge. To pass the time, I listen to my iPod while I am doing my tasks. If I am just sorting documents into piles, I like to listen to the podcast of "This American Life", which I download every week. But if I am putting the numbers from the blue, pink or white sheets into the computer, I put my iPod on random because, although it is mind numbing work, I do need to pay attention at least a little while I do certain tasks; music can be good background noise, while Ira Glass' compelling stories of Americana simply cannot be tuned out. **In order to expose myself to all of my music, I try to listen to any song that comes up, even if it is one that I do not necessarily like very much. As it turns out, my iPod is a gay man with shitty taste in music. It picks Elton John, but only the bad songs like "Candle in the Wind". Or Queen, but only annoying songs like "Good Company." The other day the song "Let's Hear it for the Boy" from Footloose came on. I suddenly felt very embarrassed, and I immediately felt the need to switch it. I have this fear that just as, say, "Let's Hear it for the Boy" comes on, a news reporter is going to come up to me and ask me what I am listening to for some kind of story about people and iPods. I can imagine myself trying to justify having such a shitty song on my iPod and explain how it does not accurately represent my taste in music. "Wait! I should have been listening to Built to Spill! Or Pavement! Or the Flaming Lips! Or anything! ANYTHING BUT LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY! " In fact, I am getting a little nervous just thinking about this unlikely situation.





* Yes, I have officially moved to my parents' home in the 'burbs. I am two days into it and already I am kind of losing my mind. Other than that, it's great.
** I have a lot of music on my iPod that I got from my ex-husband's collection. He has, let's call it electic tast in music, so there are hundreds of songs on there I have not listened to.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President

As I have may have mentioned before, I have a long commute to work every day. On average, I spend a good 2 hours each day in the car, roundtrip. This gives me a lot of time to think about various things... from my exciting life to the state of Illinois roadways. I spend an awful lot of time, in fact, on the latter.

One of the three roadways I take, I-88, is undergoing construction. The signs claim it is a "rebuild-widen" project, and I think that is supposed to make me feel better about the giant clusterfuck this constructions has caused on what used to be a smoothly run tollway. One of the first things they did in the 'rebuild-widen' clusterfuck project was install an electronic roadsign, much like the one seen in this photo. The one on the I-88, or the Regan as it is now called, spans the width of the highway. When I first saw that this was going up I thought it was an outstanding idea, even if I was a little bit annoyed with how much traffic it caused. I figured the sign could provide useful information, such as travel times, or, in the event of an emergency, evacuation information, like the one in the photo.

I overestimated the Illinois Department of Transportation in assuming it would want to use those costly signs to provide useful information for travelers. In fact, I would guess that on one out of every 30 days that sign displays useful information such as travel times. The other 29 days, it displays one of three messages:

• U Drink, U Drive, U Lose

• Click-it or ticket

• Trucks take a longer time to stop. Please keep a safe distance away.

Not only is that first one annoying because it is written like a text message, but it, like the other messages, is a completely obvious piece of advice that could have been conveyed without spending millions of dollars on materials and construction crews and causing a lot more traffic than even an expert like me would have anticipated. Click-it or ticket? That is the one message the Illinois Department of Transportation wants to give me in the one second it has my attention? Are you fucking kidding me?

I am not here simply to rant about the useless information provided by those costly signs; I have a suggestion for how to improve the situation. If IDOT refuses to display useful traffic information, which I still maintain is the most obvious use for a sign that spans the width of a highway, I suggest using the sign to display information that the average American should have. Maybe IDOT should get its hands on the US Constitution and display things like the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment. Or during Black History month, the sign could display information about important black people*. Frankly, I could come up with a million more interesting messages to display on the sign. How about a word of the day? Or a random fact about a famous Illinois resident? Or the cost of a ticket for speeding in a construction zone? Really anything other than U Drink U Drive U Lose would make me happy.

If you were in charge of the electronic road signs, what would you display?

*Well, I guess they could provide that information any time really, but you get my drift.

Is that your name, Rrusty?

Now that I am off for the summer, I finally have time and motivation to write. Plus, my "loyal readers" (i.e. Marc), have hassled me enough that I feel bad for neglecting my blog. I have not posted since February, but I do not really have a reason for why. Every time I sat down at my computer to write, I could not bring myself to go to this page. If I got an email alerting me of the comments made on the blog, I just deleted them because thinking about responding felt like a lot of work. It is the worst case of blogger's block I have ever had. Anyway, I do have something to write about now, and, except for a little rustiness, so far I am in no pain.

My lease expires on July 1. That is less than a month away. In fact, it is a mere 26 days before I move. What exciting plans for my living situation do I have planned? Oh it is very exciting; I am moving in with my parents. You heard right, loyal reader! I turned 30 not two months ago, and I am taking a giant step back to suburbia and living with mom and dad. This was not an easy choice for me. In fact, I will not be totally confident that I will go through with it until I have all of my clothes, shoes and other personal belongings stored in my old bedroom and I am crying hysterically on my old bed. Then I will know for sure that I have officially made the decision to move into my parents' house. Honestly, my parents are fine. We get along well, and I like spending time with them. I think it is obvious why I am unhappy about this situation. I am 30. I, as everyone does, had expectations for where I might be at this age, and let me tell you, I never thought I would be where I will be in 26 days.

There are three things keeping me sane as I try to come to terms with this move. In no particular order they are:
- Money: By September, I should be completely out of credit card debt. By the end of the year, my car will be paid off. I will also be able to start saving money as well.
- "I've made a huge mistake" is the name of the blog for a reason. Although this is not the easy choice, it is the right choice. How does that saying go? The right choice is not always the easy one? I keep telling myself that. Then a friend of mine, who pretty much always makes the right choice, said in an email "You are making the right decision." That helped. I am going to tell her that today when I go to lunch with her.
- The light at the end of the tunnel: The Cop and I have been talking about buying a home and getting married... in that order. My hope is that both of those things will happen during my Winter Break, with a private wedding in Maui or Mexico the first week in January. I am prepared, however, to wait until Spring Break, with the wedding happening the first week in April. This option is clearly a DISTANT second to the December/January plan, but I am trying to stay positive about it. Plus, that gives me more time to save money for a home, furniture and a flat screen TV.

That is my boring post after a several-month hiatus. I promise to try to write something funny and entertaining on my next post, which will hopefully be within the next week or so. Now who wants to cheer me up and tell me moving home is not going to be that bad?