"V as in ________"

I was shopping with my friend one day, and he had to spell his last name to place an order. He has a V in his last name and as he spelled it he said, "V as in Victor." I started thinking about this, and I asked the sales associate what word was most commonly used with "V as in _____." She said, as I suspected she would, "Victor." This puzzles me. Who the hell is Victor, and why do so many people agree that he is the guy for the "V as in _____" example? Since that day, I have asked everyone I know, and nearly all said that they would say "V as in Victor" if they had to spell something with a V in it. One or two patriotic types said "V as in victory," which might actually be worse.

I started thinking about hilarious alternatives to Victor. Now, if one wants to get blatantly gross, I would suggest "V as in Vagina," but I think one runs into the possiblity of offending someone with that choice. A more interesting approach would be to say something that might just make the person a little uneasy, such as "V as in Velvet-y" or "V as in voluptuous." This standard could be applied to other letters of the alphabet as well. Instead of "M as in Matthew", one could say "M as in moist," a word that causes many people to cringe. "P as in penetrate," "P as in push," or "T as in touch", "N as in naughty" "D as in discharge." I could go on for days. All these words are gross to be sure, but none of them is totally R-rated when given a neutral context. It is only R-rated to the person who has his/her mind in the gutter, which many of us do. If anyone tries this approach, PLEASE post a comment and let me know your results. I have not met anyone that has used this borderline dirty approach on a complete stranger. Anyone have any suggestions for borderline disgusting words? Or if you use something other than the standard "V as in Victor," please share.

But seriously, I do think we should push for something or someone other than Victor. I asked a friend of mine, whose last name begins with V, to try Vito. She is Italian, but that is not why I suggested it. I just like the name Vito, and I thought it would be a good substitute for Victor. The plan did not go well. The person whom she was talking to started laughing when she said "V as in Vito." What is so damn funny about Vito anyway?

On an unrelated note, I know I have not posted in a while, and I am seriously going to try to write more. As I said in my comments on the last post, I am feeling uninspired because of my current life situation. If things would start looking up, I might be more inspired to write. Until then, it is a struggle to get myself on a regular blogging schedule. I am going to work on it. I promise. It is really nice to see the people that keep coming back and prodding me to write. Ooh that is a good one, "P as in prod."